If I were to be honest with you, which I will strive to always be, I would have to admit I've been struggling the past 6 months. Struggling with depression, God, purpose, & all of the other things that make up life. I used to live on the moon. I lived in a world where I wanted to do everything & thought I could do exactly that. I was full of happiness & excitement for life. I now just try to make it through the day. I've realized that peace won't happen during my lifetime, that death is never far off from our lives, & that people will hold onto their moralism more than they will hold onto you.
Perhaps I'm writing this because I just need to let people know that I'm not the same sunny personality I was a year ago, or maybe because I'm listening to Simon & Garfunkel's melancholic songs at 5:30 a.m. Either way, here I am. Spilling my guts in only the 4th post. TMI?
Sometimes I feel like I've become jaded. Jaded at age 21. More realistically, I think I've stepped out of the wardrobe back into the real world. Paul Simon croons, "If I had never loved, I never would have cried." But maybe that's what makes life so special. It is fragile. It is made up of pain, love, tears, & joy. It isn't easy. You have to make decisions & take risks & deal with whatever the outcome is.
I think I like who I am now more than ever before. I understand more of what I'm made of & that I'm a little human that feels things deeply. I don't want to feel bad for that. Life isn't quite the piece of chocolate cake I used to think, but it isn't total rubbish. I will get through with lots of tea & swaying to Marvin Gaye.
Here's to getting through the hard times and still being able to smile. Cheers, my dears..
Perhaps I'm writing this because I just need to let people know that I'm not the same sunny personality I was a year ago, or maybe because I'm listening to Simon & Garfunkel's melancholic songs at 5:30 a.m. Either way, here I am. Spilling my guts in only the 4th post. TMI?
Sometimes I feel like I've become jaded. Jaded at age 21. More realistically, I think I've stepped out of the wardrobe back into the real world. Paul Simon croons, "If I had never loved, I never would have cried." But maybe that's what makes life so special. It is fragile. It is made up of pain, love, tears, & joy. It isn't easy. You have to make decisions & take risks & deal with whatever the outcome is.
I think I like who I am now more than ever before. I understand more of what I'm made of & that I'm a little human that feels things deeply. I don't want to feel bad for that. Life isn't quite the piece of chocolate cake I used to think, but it isn't total rubbish. I will get through with lots of tea & swaying to Marvin Gaye.
Here's to getting through the hard times and still being able to smile. Cheers, my dears..
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